who wants to rob a bank with me so we can buy rt merchandise 

you wanna plan a heist together?

as long as it turns out better than Gavin and Geoff’s

Edgar could plan a better heist than them tbh

do we at least get masks?

and codenames?


Follow up to Partners in Crime AU

Grif sat at a table in the cafeteria, poking aimlessly at his food. It had been three days and he and Church hadn’t spoken to each other since that first argument, both still fuming.

The heist had been bullshit anyway. Church’s crew were idiots and didn’t really know how to take orders. It made him miss his previous crew, but they had had to go their separate ways and lay low after a particularly disastrous robbery. One that had cost Grif most of his internal organs. They were planning on meeting up again once things had died down, but for the moment, Grif was on the market.

Especially in a place like this. He’d spent the morning hiding from particularly nasty guy who seemed to use stabbing as a way to say hello.

"Mind if I sit here?"

Grif looked up, and then shrugged. “Not like I’m saving it for anyone.”

"Yeah, heard you arguing when you go here. That your partner?"

"Nope. Hired me for a job. It went sour ‘cause the guy had no fucking idea what he was doing."

"Doesn’t it always?"

There was a pause as they ate for a bit.

"So, you want something from me, pal?"

"If you’ll hear me out. Couple of us looking to break out of this joint."

"Oh? Well, good luck with that."

"We were wondering if you wanted in."

"Kind of a bold statement to be making to a guy you just started talking to."

"Well, let’s just say, we know who you are. Your reputation proceeds you, Dexter Grif."

Grif paused, considering the offer. He did have a reputation for coming up with a solid plan. And he was in need of a decent crew.

"I meet everyone involved, and make my decision from there. Until there, nothing."

"Fair enough. How’s tomorrow sound?"

"Works for me. Who are you, anyway?"

"Call me Alpha Two."

He got up from the table with a nod, leaving Grif with a feeling of vague uneasiness. Hopefully, the other guys wouldn’t be as creepy as this dude.



My life is a progress bar. Words of wisdom from Ryan on this week’s T-Shirt Tuesday!


Right back at it again


Right back at it again

(via the-meta)



You can tell a lot about a person by who who their favourite achievement hunter is

Mine is a tie between Jack and Ryan.

I’m not sure what this says about me.

(Source: captgrif, via the-meta)


roosterhunterftw asked: You are amazing in your writing and I was wondering if you could write a story based on preface that I have come up with. I ask this because I have seen how good your stories are and the fact that I am a terrible storyteller.

If you give me the prompt, I can give it a go. Bear in mind however that my interpretation will probably come into play and will probably take the form of a one-shot since I don’t really do multi-chapter stuff these days.


Achievement Platoon - Part 11


"Alright everyone! Listen up! I was in the mess hall yesterday, and I think the Quatermaster’s caught on to the fact that we’re the ones taking the bacon. And from what it sounds like, they’re locking the bacon up for safekeeping or something."

Grif stared around the room at his men, who stared back intently.

"Thankfully, Matthews also caught wind of this, and managed to "overhear" where it’s being kept. Now, I know how we all feel about the bacon burrito, so this is our chance to take it back."

Grif pulled down a map of the rebel camp, crudely drawn but it would work for their purposes.

"The bacon is being kept here. The plan, is to steal the bacon. We’ll be in teams of two. Matthews and I will do the main infiltration. The rest of you will be there for the handoff and general distraction. The more chaos the better, but don’t waste any ammo or anything like that. We want a clean getaway. We’ll meet at the top of the mountain for a cookoff. Any questions."

"Do we get disguises?"

"What about code names?"

"Yes to disguises. We don’t want anyone to know it’s us, and codenames are also a good thing. Matthews, you and I are Alpha Team, you two are Bravo, and you guys are Charlie. We clear?"

There was a round of nods.

"I’ll get the masks."

"Good. If everyone works together, we should be able to pull this off with no trouble at all."


And then I started combining RvB and Fake AH crew.

I don’t ask for these AUs they just follow me home.


Anonymous asked: Could you do partners in literal crime with grif and church? You know, since they wound up in prison together?

Prison seems to be an inevitability.

They stared helplessly as the iron door slammed in their faces, waiting for the guard to leave before they rounded on each other.

"Well, way to go, idiot. Now look where we are!" Church snapped.

"Me? What did I do?! It was your guy who screwed up! I played my part perfectly!" Grif replied with a similar level of vitriol.

"You were supposed to be driving the van!"

"No, I volunteered to drive. You made me help you rob the place, and then jump on the back of the bike to get to the boat. Can’t you even keep your own heist straight?"

"You’re supposed to be the best!"

Grif paused, and then burst out laughing in Church’s face. “Where…the hell…did you hear that?” he said between guffaws. Church looked murderous.

"Fuck off," Church said finally, stalking to other side of the cell.

"I’d like to, but unfortunately, the cell’s about eight feet, dipshit."

"Shut up."

"Fine. I will. I’ll just say this. We should have used my heist."

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